sick cas
by Versapellis13
Summary: Cas gets ill at the bunker while dean is away and thinks it is boredom and separation anxiety. Cas/Dean and only a light dash of Sam/Cas potential implied. please comment, my other story has sex, this one is rated such for language mostly.


Cas gets sick and delirious.

Cas had separation anxiety, sitting in front of the computer looking up symptoms to put name to the feeling Cas sighed. Nervous, queasy, clingy, needy, hot, cold. One site suggested he was menopausal, pregnant or had kidney failure but Cas was in a male vessel, so unlikely, and his pee was not red. But then the internet was not always so nice to Cas's search inquiries and Cas was still quite unsure. Further inquiry into the subject made it seem like it was a animal thing. But then Cas considered a bit sadly he was not human so maybe he could have ingrained quirks from other creations of his father. Certainly the angels had bouts of intense separation anxiety when father had apparently left.

The Winchesters were on a hunt and Cas was wing clipped and near mortal again, he had been several kinds of sick or sad or complex. But this felt different.

Fluxes of boredom cas had cleaned, did laundry, washed his car, sorted, filled, and now there was nothing to do.

Cas considered another deluge of porn and loud music, maybe brush up on learning a musical instrument? The internet had said that positive activity was a thing that helped.

Cas scrolled through his cell, call dean? No, cas didn't want to distract.

Cas had rifled through deans stuff and squirmed around like a guilty cat on his bed, had slid down the stairway railing looking for it to be fun but just slid down it with a ironic deadpan "whoo", cas had thrown away a Tupperware of moldering something from the back of the fridge and considered comfortable cities of bacteria crying out in loss as they perished in the intense temperature change of the incinerator.

Cas had gone for a drive, been to a museum and considered the art at a gallery, tried painting and drawing himself when he got home and had made a appreciable mess that he already cleaned.

The Winchesters were gone for at least a week. This was the third day. Cas felt absolutely bored and felt increasingly shaky.

Cas drummed his hand on the table. Cas considered outdoor activities, communing with nature this time of year was not always the best either, spring animals were all about sex, food, and taking care of young. Well most things were, much of the time.

The insects were better conversationalists than the birds around here at least and the trees communicating in chemicals did not offer anything cas really wanted know, a oak near the bunker made cas sad he no longer had grace to heal it.

It was slowly being eaten alive by a fungus in holes left by boreing beetles and its very leaves puffed out a distressed chemical that even made nearby trees nervous.

Its version of a scream.

But then the fungus was doing well so…

The earth alive and rife with roots and tiny bugs and small mammals was a neat feeling to take in but eh, one could only appreciate the breakdown of one element into another giving rise to life and kinetic in so many ways before returning to a singular fact Cas needed something to do.

Connected and apart cas was a fulcrum of possibility, but…bored, lonely, out of sorts, and depleted of his most common types of interaction.

Contained, cas squirmed a bit in his skin, his soul spinning in irritation under his flesh.

Something that would not drain his already weak reserves of grace.

Cas had called his vessels daughter yesterday, maybe he could call again tomorrow. Maybe cas should get a job? Take up charity work, volunteer at a big brother program? Plant some trees, yes the world could use some trees. Oxygen, housing, economy, and hey if the 'apocalypse' came and away went humanity… all but the earths other creatures maybe cas would be able to sit aback and watch the next thing rise from nothing to conseousness and complexity. Deans soul by his side as the earth continued to spin gone of humanity. Yes fresh air in either event would be a treat, good or dismal.

Cas leaned his head in arms sighed at the wood of the table, banging his head on the table as he had seen Sam do in irritation cas covered his now sore forehead wondering why on earth anyone would find this motion comforting.

Mentally crossing this maneuver off his likely self expression list cas wandered to deans room, cas wondered how many times he could touch himself till he was empty.

2 hours later.

Cas pressed the button on the laundry machine, and watched the sheets swirl. Well now he had something to do. Cas drank from a bottle he found in deans room, and pondered for a moment. Making a mess to clean, that would be a alternative to boredom. Cas hooked a finger around a display of knives and watched it fall clattering to the floor, tipping a painting off the wall cas smiled a bit to himself. Well this was fun.

Dean and Sam stood in the entranceway taking in the disaster. The job done by another hunter by the time they got there Sam and dean had just headed back after hanging with the guy a little. Cas hadn't been answering his phone. dean immediately drew his gun and motioned for Sam to do the same.

With efficiency they searched the place room by room, dean opened Cas's room door and felt his stomach drop to his toes cas on his bed in a flannel shirt and boxers and his hair at odd angles curled away from dean.

Dean resisted the urge to call out to cas not knowing if the man was injured dean made sure the room was clear first before walking up to the angel, a hand shaking despite himself dean turned cas his direction and felt a small quake of terror at the boneless way cas just gave no resistance and was on his back.

There was no blood. Would someone kill cas and cloth him in deans shirt as a message? Oh shit was cas really dead? Cas squirmed and flopped back into the position he was in. dean's brow eased then furoughed cas was asleep "cas what the hell" dean whispered fervently still unsure the situation

cas turned to dean and abject terror set into his face, pupils spiraling down to points cas blinked a few timed agog before clearing his throat and trying for false calm. "hello dean" cas swallowed and looked away

"your back earlier than projected"

"What the hell is this" dean swirled a arm in the air, a mark of how distracted it was his gun arm doing the expressing, dean paused and unclipped and cleared chamber berating himself he knew better.

Deans brow twitched "is that my shirt?"

Cas heard Sam calling for dean as he approached Cas's room and cas ran to the bathroom closed and locked the door while deans mind tried to catch up.

Sam would not see him in deans shirt, good.

Dean, Sam and cas had a door between them, better.

" I… uh… got bored" cas called to the sounds of the brothers trying to figure the hell happened. Cas found air had left his lungs and slid down weakly continuing unheard " then I got sad, then I got sick"

Cas found himself dizzy and on his feet again backing away from the door chewing on his tongue against spikes of fear and shame as dean let loose a barrage of angry… shortly after cas could hear Sam placating dean and though the other side of the door had been silent for a while cas sat on the floor on the and picked absentmindedly at the rug eyes glazed over and closed. Cas's head dropped to his chest.

Dean found himself in the main room putting books on the shelf when Sam leaned on the shelf and grinned wistfully " dean you got to see this" dean shoved a book back onto the shelf with unnecessary force "what now" following a mysteriously grinning Sam dean felt a thread of worry.

Sam clicked on the computer in the main room there was a article on separation anxiety looking back at dean. Sam threw his arm around deans shoulder and made motion to pinch deans cheek "aww, he missed you" dean blank faced shrugged Sam's arm off.

After a moment of consideration and scrolling dean surmised "this is exactly why we don't own pets Sam"

Sam considered dean from across the room putting papers back into order in a box of files strewn there.

"dean really?" Sam pursed his lips and clenched a jaw ayes narrowing in threat

"go see if he is ok dean. Yelling at cas like that… Your not the only one having a rough time lately"

Dean rolled his eyes and looked for cas, felt for him with their connection. Following the vague indicator of direction dean found himself back in ca's room, a little surprised to note that cas apparently was still in the bathroom. It had been a hour at least. Dean knocked on the door "cas you all good?"

Cas curled in on himself he had started shaking a bit when he heard and felt dean fiddling with their connection, swallowing the unintentional exchange of energy from portraying his emotions cas shook further at the effort to keep it restrained as dean knelt on the other side of the door and pushed a wave of questioning energy his way, gasping in air to prevent himself from responding cas felt a swirl of pain in restraint that left his head dizzy.

"cas?" dean heard cas gasping, had he made cas cry?

"hey I didn't mean to yell like that I was… I thought someone had broken it and torn up the place. Saw you lying there…"

dean tried the knob, locked.

"cas it was the adrenalin" dean swallowed and leaned against the door with his forehead

"cas come out" deans chest clenched hearing cas on the other side give a few shaky gasps.

Oh shit was cas actually crying?

Not good, not good fuck. Dean swallowed

"cas its ok, I miss you so bad sometimes too."

dean got up hands shaking a burn in his stomach he sat on the end of Cas's bed and waited.

Maybe cas would think he left the room and come out.

Dean took a calming breath and tried to feel their connection to see how bad the damage was but even from here dean could hear cas squirm against the door and make a pathetic noise.

"aw man cas" dean felt like a worm

"I'm sorry" dean felt a hot sting in his eyes calmed himself against it and walked to the door rattling it "please don't cry cas" deans voice broke.

Dean grit his teeth "open the door cas or its coming down"

The door unlocked but didn't open and dean pushed it open revealing cas in his shirt and now dean recognized his boxers, holding his sides and looking at the floor.

Dean went in for a hug and died a little when cas flinched. Cas eventually relaxed into the contact and swallowed a dizzy as he let the swirl of their connection bounce between their turmoil and find equilibrium again.

Cas felt ashamed to need dean so bad to sooth his soul, dean would not approve of it.

Cas felt dean pull out of the hug leaning still against cas deans shaking hand traced just under cases eye, cas still looking at the floor cas took in the rug that he had torn a corner off of string by string in blank open eyed quiet.

He was stronger than this, wasn't he? Yes he was, just not lately.

Cas lunged at dean and held him closer, considering that space between molecules was maintained and maybe if cas brought all of his molecule to deans they would sublimate this entire milky way in a sublime expression of ending and unending.

A nuclear fission of them lighting the horizon and making all irrelevant. But cas did not have that power, certainly not at the moment, maybe while he was playing god, but not now.

Dean felt the angel actually shaking. And hugged back with equal crushing intensity dean resolved not to pass out from lack of oxygen first.

"Shit cas why didn't you call me?" dean felt a spiral of worry as he took in a scent of something strong and alcoholic coming out of Cas's skin. Had cas been drinking as well?

The small hairs on the back of Cas's head were damp and his skin was hot.

Dean held onto cas and sighed into Cas's neck.

"call me next time cas ok" cas was more than leaning on dean and dean wondered if cas had passed out, shouldering Cas's arm and pulling him out to sit him on his bed dean sat by cas who leaned against deans shoulder dean ran a hand through Cas's hair which was sweaty and wondered if cas had caught something.

Sam in the doorway took in the interaction, "is he ok?" Sam noted the clothes

"uh is that deans shirt or mine?" cas mumbled something and all same got out of it was "…all over the sink… laundry basket"

and leaned further into deans shoulder hiding his face from view in deans neck. Dean raised a hand in lost half question letting cas settle in dean leaned back slightly, dean let his hand drop then carded his other hand through Cas's hair in comfort.

Sam sat on the other side of the bed and sent a question to dean in facial expression, dean made a motion as if holding a bottle to his lips and pointed to cas, then covered his mouth and made a barfing motion with hand followed by a swirl of his finger near his head and a swirling eye.

Message conveyed Sam nodded and patted cas on the back "hey im going to get you some Coffey it will make you feel better."

Cas who had seemed asleep on deans shoulder paled slightly and quickly expressed "no I got sick in the kitchen too…" cas buried his head again in deans neck.

cas had a deathgrip on deans shirt and dean winced as he felt a few hairs from his belly pulled away. Sam shrugged at deans trapped look and headed to the kitchen to make cas some coffee, as if Sam hadn't seen messy drunk or tantrum throwing from his own brother enough to be immune.

Well his brother had more practice, and better aim.

Having passed the room for the first time gun in hand he had looked for movement, red, and danger, now that he took in the damage for what it was Sam swallowed thickly and turned away.

Sam decided to drive to get Coffey from a shop instead. Passing back by the room Sam saw dean lying beside a now sleepily slurring cas.

Sam smiled a bit at the idea of dean tucking the drunken angel into bed.

"hey im going out to get coffee, you want anything dean?" dean sat up on the bed at which cas turned to in open protest on his face. Dean put a and out to pat the clingy angels leg.

"uh bring back a thermometer and some pedilyte I think cas has a fever" Sam looked at cas who had sat up in bed hand vaguely reaching for dean and glazed look in his eye, Sam could see the flannel shirt cas was wearing had large streaks of wet under Cas's arms. "uh dean try to get him to calm down he wasn't sweating that hard a minute ago."

Dean watched his brother turn and leave and found himself tethered to cas by another deathgrip on his shirt, the arm holding it shaking with the effort dean felt a bit of pride and fear at the intensity of it but cas bleary eyed was leaning into deans direction and was looking up at dean with a sheen of sweat on his forehead grabbed dean around the middle.

Sitting there cas sitting next to him, dean felt a bit like a claustrophobic peanut in a m&m.

cas weakly clung to dean who sat on the bed now wrapped in angel with no idea what the heck to do.

Dean sat up to get away from the overwhelming, and resolved to settle cas back into bed and get the guy to calm down but turning to cas to do so dean took in watery blue eyes and a cas clutching his sides.

Cas started to shake and gasp looking down and dean felt a spark of terror for making cas cry again. Dean grabbed up the angel off the bed and hugged him hoping to calm cas who had relaxed against dean and curled a arm between them, cas coughed again and dean felt the angel heave.

Dean resisted the urge to drop cas, more so dean gritted his teeth against the urge to curse, and lead him to the bathroom. Dean let cas lean against the counter facing the sink when cas stopped there, and dean pulled his shirt off in disgust.

Well at least that was all water dean thought. Cas had slid bonelessly down the counter, as the shirt went up, cas slid down.

Looking up at dean, now bare-chested cas leaned his head back against the surface and let his half focused eyes travel "hello dean" then Cas's yes widened and cas braced his arms behind himself "what are you doing here ahead of time? I had at…." cas heaved again.

"uhg", cas grabbed his sides again and his eyes locked ahead of him and dilated. Dean took in the weird reaction ad waved a hand in front of cases face when he did not continue moving, a steady slide of water sick was making its way down Cas's chest and dean heard and saw Cas's stomach heaving.

Now dean had been around and had seen this combo only a few times, seizure from head trauma, p.t.s.d. and drugs. Dean knew Cas would not do anything drug because dean himself had set that ground rule hard with Cas after seeing Cas's potential future self, a drink here and there, some pot three times a year. Dean chewed a corner of his tongue, please let it not be drugs. Dean undid his belt and quickly tied the angels hands together, dean was not going to be killed by a post traumatic angel in full goodbye mode.

Dean reached for Cas's head and almost hoped to find a bruise or a soft spot or blood, Cas's eyes set had at least both pupils dilated the same, so no concussion.

Dean did not find any marks on Cas's head but the heat rolling off cas let dean know that the fever cas had was not good. Maybe it was a seizure. Dean sighed and backed to the shower and turned it on, not leaving eye contact with Cas's form, cas had been through a lot of shit maybe this fever and the alcohol is what it took to get cas low enough to leave his eyes blankly tracking in their sockets.

Dean felt a surge of sympathy, there was a time where he too did this. Dean covered Cas's eyes and waited for a reaction, considered cutting Cas's clothes off. The water needed to get to his skin, for dean not wearing soaked clothes was a matter of comfort and convenience, for cas it was a matter of potential life and death how high was his fever "shit" . But a introduction of a knife into this situation, no. not when dean was unsure of the cause.

dean kicked off his clothes and wrapped his weapons tightly in the middle of them. Dean decided some clothes was fine in the face of need to lower Cas's temp. "you've got a fever Cas, I don't know what happened or what you caught or did but if you can hear me I need to know. I'm going to put you in the shower to lower your temp, its too high and might fry your brain." unbuttoning the shirt Dean covered Cas's eyes again and lifted him aquardly to the shower cas snapped back to functionally high energy at the temperature difference and dean was grateful he had already taken down the cutrtainrod out of the way as he struggled with cas and tried to be soothing in manner and tone but keep cas under the water.

Cas elbowed dean and dean was starting to get frustrated as he wrestled the gasping angel. Hugging cas to himself dean slowly lowered the temperature from warm to cold cas kept trying to escape and alternately hug back, hands tied still Cas ineffectively clutched deans arm, his eyes going in and out of focus cas passed out a few times and dean sat on the floor of the tub holding the panicking angel. Cas bit deans shoulder at first deans cross-eyed painplesure receptors made him happy about it but then Cas's teeth broke skin and cas growled and bit deeper. Dean grabbed Cas's hair and stuck a finger into the back of Cas's throat via the space between back molar and gum making cas gag and let go. Dean heard a knock on the door.

"Sam help me here" Sam's face would have been comical in any other occasion, but dean was barking orders and Sam set to a default mode.

After wrangling Cas back to the room having managed to escape while the brothers were formulating

Dean found himself shivering in waist deep water holding a now naked fevered Cas's head above water on his chest, as Sam took the unconseous angels temp for the 12th time.

Cas heaved emptily and struggled splashing a already drenched Sam. Dean felt a sudden warmth and cas was eyes closed tight gasping. Sam noted the yellow spreading along the bottom of the tub "uh dean I think cas just peed" dean reached out with a foot to poke the lever to let the water out.

"your turn" dean said through chattered teeth. Sam looked at dean "what?" dean motioned at Sam and himself.

"if I hear cas gag one more time im going to lose it and im freezing", dean swallowed and looked away "and on top of that cas just pissed on me. Switch with me."

dean and Sam did a staring contest of will for a moment and Sam sighed in defeat. Pulling his shirt and pants off Sam sighed held cas up while dean got out of the tub and Sam crawled in Sam was not designed for sharing space in a tub.

Aquardly flung Sam huffed, cas gagged and dean paled and heaved his lunch up in the toilet.

Sam stuck his fingers in his ears and managed not to lose his own lunch but barely. Sam was humming to himself tersely when dean put the water on to fill the tub and flicked sams face to catch his attention.

Pointing to cas dean ordered "don't you let him escape again" dean left to get some clothes on. Sam took in the angels shaking form resting against him faced away Sam took in the profile of cas weak and greenred "For crissake dean cas isn't going anywhere" cas reached forward and closed a hand into a fist slowly Sam watched wondering if cas was hallucinating grabbing something.

Cas quickly pulled his arm back to elbow Sam. "my…. da.. name…in vain… fucker" Sam rubbed his side

"sorry cas" maybe he was coming around. Grumpy…. Sam tentatively reached to lie his arm across Cas's shoulder to better restrain him if need be. Sam suppressed a shiver as the cold water rose. Feeling his own bladder protest Sam grit his teeth.

Cas squirmed a blank grin on his face cas looked at Sam and poked his nose.

"rubber ducky" Sam cross-eyed at the finger on his nose focused as cas who held a rubber bath toy and gave it a squeak.

"what" Sam raised a brow at the delirious angel. "duck" cas said with clarity and seriousness.

And moved before Sam was prepared cas had grabbed Sam's face and knocked the back of his head on the shower wall. Too weak a effort to really hurt or knock Sam unconseous it surprised him as Cas ran out the door. Aw man dean was going to be pissed.

Turning the corner to the hallway Sam found Cas in the hallway passed out cold. Grabbing the boneless form up Sam headed back to the bathroom. Sam set himself into the tub again dragging the angel in with him and Cas twitched and moaned in disapproval Sam bore a tooth in annoyance as cas kicked and flailed cas sputtered and his eyes had gone wide cas inhaled and sam felt a cold drop into his stomach "no cas don't" cas screamed, unabated full on screamed.

And thrashed, sam could contend with the thrashing and cas passed out again. Sam could hear his heart pounding and flinched full body when dean appeared in the doorway in full kick ass mode, sam looked up at dean with longsuffering "I didn't do anything" don't kick my ass dean, sam thought to himself quietly.

It was one shaking sam and 30 minutes later that they got Cas's temp down. Not really wanting to take any chances dean got out the good stuff [i.e. expensive or hard to get] from the medical equipment and hooked cas up to a I.v. to get him hydrated. Sam do we have any in date antibiotics?" dean inquired "ill go look" sam headed off dean yelled in afterthought "hey sam get the blowout kit from the living room, I want to see how dehydrated cas is."

dean stuck a syringe in Cas's arm and sucked up a needle full. Dean squirted a bit on a finger and it clotted too fast for his liking. Cas's gums were not reddening after being depressed fast enough either. Dean broke the needle off crimping it with snips and crimping the plastic and tied a string to the other end through a hole he bit in the plastic grips for the plunger. Measuring dean snipped the short string handed it to sam and ordered sam to "spin" sam sighed and spun the needle fast, counting, while dean checked down Cas's throat and checked his lymph glands under his chinbone and generally tried to find cause of injury or sick.

Cas was passed out so hard that dean did not even get much response from Cas's eyes shining a light in them till he flinched away and groaned. "Ok dean it started to separate 19 minutes" a small line of plasma a the top of the blood looked dark and the blood itself was thick. Dean nodded and handed it back. "keep spinning"

"dean im not giving him a enema to hydrate him" sam pouted then grinned knowingly "I believe that's your area of expertise" sam patted dean on the back in mocking brotherly support. cas groaned and narrowed eyes at sam "you…telling yourself…. threesome.. moburg" Cas's head flopped back sam narrowed his eyes on dean who was trying to pretend to be taking Cas's blood pressure for the second time "dean did you tell cas about moburg?" dean looked up at his brother

"I have no idea where he heard that" sam clenched his jaw "it was one time dean one fucking time, and the only reason you know about it was because you wanted in on it."

Dean shrugged and with a little greasy in his tone said "hey look at me sam… I don't judge" sam narrowed his eyes at dean an leaned in close to a dean leaning back in nervous

"if I find out you told cas the whole story I will tell him about Meredith" dean looked confused 'who is Meredith' his brain flickered for clues.

Sam watched dean from a close distance "you fucked a goat once dean you were drunk and I saw you fuck a goat at a barn party. You tried to bring her home and kept calling her Meredith. People cheered you on, it was sad dean" dean narrowed his eyes at his brother who looked down at him with moral superiority "no fuckin way sam, your bluffing" deans eyes tracked back and forth for a moment dean looked up at his brother "right?"

Dean cleared his throat "keep spinning sam" and went back to attending to cas. "dean why not just make a centrifuge or something" sam appealed "a little hand crank, a gear whoo done." dean looked affronted "Because dad taught us how to do it the old fashion out in the field way and I would not know if I was getting accuracy out of anything else."

Dean smirked to himself. And patted the bed next to cas "sit" sam sat next to cas half expecting to be needed for something and looked at dean expectantly. Dean leaned in catching sams attention he held up his hand spinning it around dean lift just one finger up "Spin". sam narrowed his eyes at dean and clenched a fist.

Cas huffed a amused note "aw… souvenir… dean you… shouldn't av…" cas reached out and grabbed sams arm and rubbed a hand against it. sam dropped the needle and left in a disturbed huff.

"haha good one cas" dean watched sam strut of like offended royalty hair flapping in offence even.

Cas looked after sam a slight pout on his face "pretty lady…. Scared away…."

Dean considered the passed out angel for a moment and laughed.


End file.
